How To Scream into the Void
Scream Musically
Occasionally alter the pitch of your anguished wails, and play an instrumental track to accompany them. Then everyone will think you're singing. You may also sit down whilst screaming and play a church organ. Screaming into the void is socially unacceptable, but there is nothing wrong with expressing yourself through the medium of song.
Scream in Spanish
Spanish is a very beautiful language, and learning a new language is a fun and productive new skill. People will see how cultured and intellectual you are, and you will give off an air of being well-travelled.
Scream at Your Husband
He does not understand you.
Scream Theatrically
Wear a black turtleneck and leggings, and stand on a darkened strange furnished with nothing but boxes and perhaps a simple chair. You may now scream. If you channel your cosmic angst through your screaming in public, it is strange and impolite. If you do it on stage, it is art.
Scream in Morse Code
This is a very discrete way of communicating your existential angst. Purchase a lighthouse and find a way to turn its light on and off to scream in Morse code to the entire ocean. This is very subtle and will not disturb dinner guests.
Scream at High Speeds
If you break the sound barrier, you will experience what is known as a "sonic boom". Nobody will be able to hear your tormented wails over the sound of a sonic boom, therefore it will not disturb your neighbours. This is very polite.
Scream as a Baby
Babies are notoriously filled with existential dread, which is why they spend 70% of their time screaming. Wait patiently for death, and become reincarnated as a baby. You may now scream.
Scream in Space
In space, no one can hear you scream. This is good etiquette.
